Conversion

Dec 31, 2000

Corvallis, Oregon

It is a rather foreboding task to speak to you. But I am comforted by the fact that I think I know every one of your names, which is one of the blessings of serving as your ward clerk for these past few years.

I’d like to share with you some experiences that are actually quite personal. However, I mention them because I think in some ways, in this chapel, I’m not alone in these experiences, and when I share these things with you, many of you will understand what I’m talking about from experiences in your own lives.

About twelve years ago, the year I graduated from the University of Maryland, I came in contact with the Church through a friend and was impressed by the way many of the members lived their lives. I thought at the time that that was a nice religion for them, and I could go along with my nice religion too, and everything would be just hunky dory. But pretty soon, I found that my interest had developed from a curiosity about how other people lived into a desire to know for myself if it was how I was supposed to live. But there was a small problem in that my parents were in Belgium for a five-year assignment for my dad’s work (he was involved in designing the Airbus). They were very strong in their church and in their beliefs, and I did not want to appear that I was rejecting them. It was something of a dilemma.

It was about this time, in April of 1988, that the missionaries invited me to pray with them, and ask if I should be baptized two weeks from that date. I said, “Sure,” not knowing what to expect, but very much needing an answer. We all knelt down in that living room of the friend who had originally introduced me to the church, and I asked in prayer if I should really be baptized on April 24^th. What I received back was very much an answer. It left no doubt, and in that way was very comforting to me, in that I knew things would be all right with my family as the Lord would not lead me astray. I did not have a deep knowledge of the doctrines of the church at that time, all I knew was that indeed the Lord had answered my prayer, and that was enough.

Since that time I have had many other experiences that have testified to me the truthfulness of this gospel. Priesthood blessings, inspiration at various times, even as I’ve prepared this message, I feel the burning in my heart, and it’s not too much chili for breakfast, but the spirit again testifying itself. It is hard for me to express exactly these feelings, but I say these things because spirit talks to spirit, and as I say these things it is in some hope that the spirit may testify as well. I have seen and felt enough in my life such that I do know that these things are true. That is no longer a question. Now I just need to implement this knowledge into how I live my life.

I say these things to let you know that I do have a testimony, but after twelve years in the church and thirty-five years on this earth I am still in the process of being converted. Somehow, I need to convert my life to become totally in line with gospel teachings and where the Savior said that I need to be. Sometimes, it’s just not enough to know the church is true. It takes something else.

A few years ago, President Boyd K. Packer taught us, “True doctrine, understood, changes behavior.” This is not an intellectual understanding that these things are true, but a spiritual understanding. When we have a spiritual understanding, our perspective and vision are completely changed. We magnify our callings because we love the Lord and His people. We read the scriptures with gratefulness to those who sacrificed to bring them to us. We are humbly willing to give all that we have to the Church, because the Lord has so richly blessed us with so many gifts. We don’t criticize others for how they are fulfilling their callings, but rather see what we can do to sustain them. We do not search for doctrinal loopholes to find reasons to challenge the ordained leadership of the Church nor tamper with the simple truths of the gospel. Rather, in every way, we strive to maintain the spirit, maintain that feeling of a constant breath of fresh air and that combination of excitement and peace. Nothing that would take that away, or dull that, is attractive. As Elder M. Russell Ballard pointed out in 1995, with this spiritual understanding, Satan cannot threaten our happiness through any sort of temptation.

As we are closing our last meeting of the Corvallis First Ward in this millennium, I thought I should say a few words about New Year’s resolutions. In many ways, resolutions are in line with gospel principles of repentance. However, it seems that all too often, to the point of being a cliché, resolutions were made to be broken, often by 12:15 AM. There needs to be a better way. How can we become successful in our New Year’s resolutions? Again, true doctrine, understood, changes behavior.

There is too much that is good in life to be enjoyed without us missing it because we are weighed down in sin. If there are things weighing on our mind, a visit with our Bishop, a very good and wise man, is in order. Move on, and progress. I suspect that we need to raise our vision as to why we are here. Reinfusing the spirit in our lives, and welding ourselves to the gospel of Christ, will lead to a natural byproduct of living a higher law than we presently do.

After having read the Book of Mormon a few times, or having gone to the temple a few times, it seems all too easy to have the feeling of “I know-it-all.” In the Book of Mormon, one may know the basic storyline, and while a few details may still be cloudy, such as confusing Ammon and Amulek, that’s all basic trivia anyway. Or with the temple, once someone has been endowed, that’s the main thing; anything else for dead people is gravy. With real life problems, what are the scriptures going to say about my problems at work or school, my dissatisfaction with my home life, or my bad habits and vices? Other than a few lectures, maybe they won’t say much.

However, there is something that happens with consistent scripture study. President Benson taught us in 1986 that, “When individual members and families immerse themselves in the scriptures regularly and consistently, … other areas of activity will automatically come. Testimonies will increase. Commitment will be strengthened. Families will be fortified. Personal revelation will flow” (Ensign, May 1986, p. 81). Those are wonderful blessings beyond the intellectual knowledge gained from reading the scriptures. I would submit that the same is true of temple worship. Who has ever felt worse leaving the temple than when we entered it? It is a blessing to be there, and returning often enough so that it becomes a second home to us will infuse our lives with peace and happiness.

What happens to us when we magnify our callings? When we go home or visiting teaching? Are we not blessed in ways we did not foresee? If we have too many of these experiences, we will find ourselves changed.

The effect that the gospel can have is immeasurable. As President Hunter once said, “the world needs the gospel of Jesus Christ. It provides the only way the world will ever know peace.” There are many good people in the world that struggle with many basic questions, and subsequently do not know peace. What is the meaning of life? What happens to us after we die? In the church I grew up in, the answers to these questions were unclear, and these seem like the kind of questions that a church is supposed to answer. I believed in the resurrection, I just didn’t know what it was. Many in and out of a church have asked questions like, “If there is a God, why do so many bad things happen to good people?” “Why are there hurricanes, earthquakes, and fires?” “Why are innocent children born lame or blind?” “Why is there war?” Some of the greatest thinkers have pondered these questions, and come up with the wrong answers. In His own way, God has answered these questions for us, using people who were humble enough to be his instruments. God has set the natural laws and works within them, and also leaves us our agency, with its resulting consequences. We need to share this knowledge with our friends and neighbors that may be otherwise puzzled by life.

The gospel is indeed an anchor in the swirling waters of a confusing world, without which we would drown in confusion, doubt, and fear. Satan understands this principle, and would like to separate us from that anchor. He does this any way he can. Our own sins cloud our faculties, and make us forget. But there are other ways, too. If he can sow doubt by any means, if he can make you believe that religion is the opiate of the masses, or the result of a frenzied mind, as Marx or Freud might claim, or any of the other reasonings of man that have been postulated, including PBS programs claiming to reveal the real Jesus as something less than divine, than his purposes have been served.

. We need to remember our testimony. Remember when we had those experiences with the Spirit. Remember, remember, remember. And then do. We need to work to magnify our testimony by service to the Lord and His people. We need to keep our testimony, and then spend our life converting ourselves to the gospel. Knowing and living the gospel answers questions and solves problems, even if these questions and problems are not specifically addressed in scripture. Somehow, some way, we can receive pure knowledge, and strength, and peace.

Rob, You are magnificent. I love you. -Sandy